Testimony Tuesday: Josie Mathis

A Testimony of Deepest Emotion

So I will just be honest, when Michael asked me to write for today, I was quite unprepared and a little reluctant. We had a busy weekend and a lot of craziness going on and I was going to take the short-cut, lazy way out. Lol. I went to looking through old folders for my 'Salvation' testimony, after all this is Testimony Tuesday, right?

Well, The Lord has a different plan and message for me to share. Please be patient with me, I tend to be long winded, rambling, and I am sure there will be plenty of bad grammar. =) Anyway, here goes...

The testimony I want to share is difficult, mostly because it is somewhat of a roller coaster ride for me. I grew up in church, waited (what seemed like forever to a young woman) for the man God had for me as my husband, and we have had 10 wonderful years together. I wouldn't trade him for anything!! =) Love you sweetheart! 

Ten years have gone by and for reasons unknown, and certainly not understood, we have yet to have children of our own. I, especially, have fought with fear, doubt, unbelief, and tons of confusion while facing this mental battle raging within. Our church is filled with babies. Our family is full of beautiful children. Every time I see Michael playing with our nieces and nephews my heart aches because I know he would be the best daddy Ever! After all, he is already the Bestest Uncle Michael Ever! =) This said from the mouth of our babies.

Slight squirrel chase-- The other day Meghan and Jonah were over. Meghan had her baby doll and I teasingly asked her, hey where's my baby? To which she responds, "You have  TWO babies!" So curiously I ask, "Um, ok, where?" She responds, "We'll, Aunt Josie, we're right here!" Obviously speaking of herself and Jonah. Out of the mouths of babes, right?!

Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.  (Psalms 37:4, 5, 7a NLT)

Through all of the pain and tears I have shed, God reminds me that though we may not have children of our own, we have so many, spiritually, we can't count them all. Maybe your child is one of ours. I knew when I was a teenager myself, that God was calling me to work with teens. There have been times, yes, when I have thought of not being in youth ministry, but Gods love for these kids runs through me like blood in my veins. This may seem off the subject, but these kids ARE our kids. They are the ones God has chosen to give us for this time. And I also wouldn't trade them either!! =) One of our students (who is now grown with a family of his own) recently came up behind us as we sat, pokes his head between us with a group hug, and delivers the following comment: "I just want to let you guys know you changed my life, thank you." WOW! If that isn't a humbling, powerful statement, nothing is. Another couple gives me a Mother's Day card each year. These, along with several other comments and situations lately, have reminded me God hears us and He sees a bigger picture we may not see right now. If you are one of our children, past or present, you are much loved and irreplaceable! Those of you who are serving The Lord, we are so proud that you have chosen to serve God. If you are one who may have gone astray for a while, we love you deeply, as if you are our own, and are earnestly praying God will lead you home.

He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the Lord ! (Psalms 113:9 NLT)

“Sing, O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem, you who have never been in labor. For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who lives with her husband,” says the Lord. “Enlarge your house; build an addition. Spread out your home, and spare no expense! For you will soon be bursting at the seams. Your descendants will occupy other nations and resettle the ruined cities. “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. (Isaiah 54:1-4a NLT)

************ I don't know about my house, but the youth room surely is bursting at the seams! =)************

We have faced many difficult situations in this journey, from people promising us a child within a year, to having three ladies super close to us being pregnant at once and having to plan baby showers for them all at one time. God's mercy is so deep and His grace is sufficient.

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 
(2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT)

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NLT)

Will we still face disappointment and sadness at times that we don't have our own child, of course. But we know who holds our future in His hands. And though we may not understand the reasons, we trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Our Father holds us close to His heart, and when we face those times of sorrow or confusion, He will bring us the comfort and grace we need. 

And yes, trusting in Him, makes our Life So Sweet!!